dReam cAught

Had the best dream I had in ages.

I remember things rather clearly; she was reading this Tim Burton book till page 315. The story was something about an “about to be married” man and him going into the underworld to find out if his bride was his one true love.

So she passed the book to me, and I finished it. Somehow, I was supposed to pass her some money after that. We took a walk as I gave her the coins one at a time, so there she was, walking shoulder to shoulder with me, and just as she was picking the coins out of my right palm, our arms inter-twined. And sliding them down, I held her hand. Oh my. Bliss.

 

I remember seeing esther and huiyi pissed. I have no idea why. Ha. Happiest dream in a while. 

Everyone has a history

then again, I wonder if you would believe my stories. =)

Ha. I look at myself now and I can hardly believe my own stories. haha..

The tales of romance, adventure, punk, funk, rebelion, anger, emo, depression, happiness, joy, agony, pain, desperation, and of coz, love.

wonder

Where did the old Nick go? Looking back, I kind of see someone really different. I see confidence, I see ability, I see strength. Have I traded these for grades? Have I traded my soul for something material? What about the family ties that bind? Is it really possible to lose yourself?

They say people don’t change. How can that be? Isn’t maturity a change in itself? Have I matured? Have I grown? Is this a glimpse of who I am going to be? Ha. I remember those old JC days, those moments where I felt like I was at the top of the world. Going to school everyday seemed like a adventure with so many things to explore and so many people to talk to. Confidence never seemed to be an issue. I wasn’t exactly skillful but the quest for mastery felt like a worthy cause. Barriers seemed only temporary and there was just so much to life.

Life. Smu. where are you?

emotional

somedays you just wanna load up on emo songs and listen the night away..

“I know you need a friend, someone you can talk to
Who will understand what you’re going through
When it comes to love, there’s no easy answer
Only you can say what you’re gonna do
I heard you on the phone, you took his number
Said you weren’t alone, but you’d call him soon
Isn’t he the guy, the guy who left you cryin’?
Isn’t he the one who made you blue?
When you remember those nights in his arms
You know you gotta make up your mind

Are you gonna stay with the one who loves you
Or are you goin’ back to the one you love?
Someone’s gonna cry when they know they’ve lost you
Someone’s gonna thank the stars above

What you gonna say when he comes over?
There’s no easy way to see this through
All the broken dreams, all the disappointment
Oh girl, what you gonna do?
Your heart keeps sayin’ it’s just not fair
But still you gotta make up your mind

Are you gonna stay with the one who loves you
Or are you goin’ back to the one you love?
Someone’s gonna cry when they know they’ve lost you
Someone’s gonna thank the stars above”

Heard this song on the way to school. Woah. If you listen to the lyrics.. oh my, its damn sad. Oh well.. I think its just a emo period for me.. ha

salsa

Had salsa training in the morning. Which was good as usually. I love salsa and I really enjoy doing salsa. I had lunch at LJS with Steph, Yiming and Aaron after that, which was again very entertaining I must say. I like c people. =) The conversation on the way back was also hilarious. We were talking about emo people in caderas.

 she is only 1 mo! *lol. hilariousssss.

Was supposed to gym after that, but instead went to the CCA to engage in more chitchat with Caderas people. I don’t know if it was the emo music playing or wat, but me Steph and Aaron started to talk about like really emo topics. Ahh. interesting! Think I might not go LA after all… Sigh, the prospects of the next term is just so depressing.. no more senior girls~

Oh well.. I’ve got another year to go before I know if i’m a dancer. hahaha.  

argh

got video interview later.. have no idea why I’m so nervous though.. I’m usually quite cool about such things…. well.. usually.. Sigh. A lot of things going on right now.. I really need something to look forward to, a holiday, a dive trip, salsa classes… anything!

I need to focus.

stoned

Am in school now.. doing nothing.. I wonder why I came school so early.. To do work? haha. I’m too stoned to do anything.. Should have slept a couple more hours, took lunch at home, then come to school… Oh well… What can I do now… Slackkkkkkkkkk…

Sad. Tonight no training.. Maybe can go union? haha.

happy cny

been gambling non stop the last 2 days.. mj on chu 1, won 10 bucks (20c, 40c). Den played poker that night, won 25 bucks (10 buy in) and 8 hours of mj yesterday. Won 80 bucks ($1,$2). sighhhhhhhhhhhhh. i’d rather be lucky in love! booohooo.

anyway. went to union just now. not too bad. at least I got to dance a little. My fav senior also went.. which is a good thing.. =) she got a little emotional today though.. but I guess we all have our own down periods don’t we.. Lets just forget things and move on, life is easier that way. Be strong fav senior! I’m praying that one day you’ll be less sensitive to things and enjoy life more.. you’re definitely more blessed than you know.

Actually, I admire people who can stay true to their feelings. Its not easy to go against societal norms and display our true feelings. I for one have always conformed to social situations in a way which I perceive to be appriopriate; which again is not always what I am feeling. I guess the balance here is between staying true to oneself and diplomacy..

Sigh. Tomorrow is going to be a long day of work.. Sighz.

brighter than sunshine

I was looking through our photos. Those good times.. when there was love. when we were really happy. Sigh.. Why did you do that ? Why did you have to spoil something so special? I guess whats done cannot be undone. The past can be revisited but things will never be the same again.

I miss you, but its better for things to stay this way.

somedays

somedays you look at the past and think about what could have been. You look at the decisions you made and the consequences you faced. Life really is ever changing. I guess its better for everyone this way…