down and out

A lot has happened over the last couple of weeks. I broke up with K and the not much response on the job side. The combination of just these two is killing me quite a bit. I guess this is really eating me up cos I’m just not surrounding myself with people. I skip school and laze at home alternating between l4d and cable. This is really bad.. I somehow remember distracting myself a lot previously.. but nowadays I don’t really want to meet anyone.. this is bad. Gotta wake up nick.

Just finished my last project with team intense. the mad 40 hour rush before the presentation was pretty shag. but I loved it.. guys.. its really the last project with you peps. kinda of a bittersweet symphony. come to think of it, this may be also where we kind of split ways. you two are going into the intense life while my path is uncertain and unsettled. honestly, the chances are not there that i’ll be heading the same place. well i’ve always been an outsider of sorts so i guess its fine.

got to wake up and start wacking this shit. tomorrow i’ll start working on my computing presentation and my essay.. thurs i’ll start applying for jobs. man.. i miss kevkev.

Protected: mo

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moobies man !

its 12:16 and i’m already on my bed. It feels weird coz I’m never home this early. Usually this is the time I have a cup of coffee to push me for the night. (Nowadays its just coffee black. Finding the sugar or the milk just takes too much time. I’m just a lazy pig) Or if I don’t drink coffee, I’d probably be looking for some chips to munch on or chocolate to eat. yums. I guess thats one of the perks of df. unlimited supply of food, coffee and coke… sigh but sometimes it aint enough.. 

I was a little shocked at the sms. my my. and what e said is right, it shouldn’t be that much of an expectation but rather be seen as extra effort on our part. I guess that really matters doesnt it. sigh. i’ve never been this disillusioned before. i really don’t know what i can do though… oh well. don’t think. just do. 

steamboat today! yums. but i kinda still prefer the one at roxy square. its not free flow but i think more yummy leh. and the tom yam there… oooo..  : )) but I liked today’s chicken. shiok. I always over eat at steam boats… mm.. okay tomorrow shall do .. ten push ups. hurr hurr. 

hurr hurr. moobies man. tsk tsk. you shouldn’t touch other people’s moobies if you don’t want yours to be … attacked. haha. -cheekopek laugh-

i kinda miss chatting with my war buddy actually. such a pity i couldn’t stay longer at s’s place last week. And i know times are tough.. i wish i could just take some time off to go over and check out how shes doing… but the last week has been quite crazy for me.. working till 4 on average is no joke. -screams mental burnout-

and i think i’ve become more boring. i. used. to. be. such. a. fun. person. to. hang. out. with. i think. ahhhhhhhAHHHHHhhhhhaHAHHHHHHHHHHH

iron and wine

dark times don’t last.

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Protected: PS cafe (viva la vida)

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Calender girl – Stars

“If I am lost for a day; try to find me
But if I don’t come back, then I won’t look behind me
All of the things that I thought were so easy

Just got harder and harder each day
December is darkest and June is the light but this empty bedroom won’t make anything right
While out on the landing a friend I forgot to send home
Who waits up for me all through the night

Calendar girl who’s in love with the world Stay alive
Calendar Girl who’s in love with the world Stay alive
I dreamed I was dying; as I so often do
And when I awoke I was sure it was true
I ran to the window; threw my head to the sky
And said whoever is up there,please don’t let me die
But I can’t live forever,I can’t always be

One day I’ll be sand on a beach by a sea
The pages keep turning, I’ll mark off each day with a cross
And I’ll laugh about all that we’ve lost

Calendar Girl who is lost to the world
Stay Alive
Calendar Girl who is lost to the world Stay Alive
January, February, March, April, May I’m alive
June, July, August, September,October I’m alive
November, December, you all through the winter,
I’m alive
I’m alive

Protected: my heart

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seaside – the krooks

sigh

Where did the old nick go?

study break day 2

And i’m already starting to feel a burn out feeling.. How am i goin’ to survive another 2 years? I’m sorry that I didn’t go union but this whole study shit is really eating me up. fcuking hell. There is still so much to study and i’m not exactly making enough headway.

fcuking hell. Study breaks have never been good times for me. I somehow remember the numbing pain I felt every night. The days were kept alive with friends and books, but the night was too quiet and too soft. There was no longer the constant vibration from my phone, there were no calls and no hugs.

I don’t know what I need.